All That Should Have Been
by sinemoras09
Summary: Cars pass below them, flurries of small and distant headlights in the dark. AU. Four alternate endings to the movie Jin Roh. Fuse x Kei. Angst.


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_Mother, what big eyes you have.  
Mother, what big teeth you have.  
Mother. Mother..._

_i. The Bridge_

Cars pass below them, flurries of small and distant headlights in the dark.

She crouches beside him, drawing her coat around her arms and watching the plume of her breath arc around her like smoke. It is cold. "We can leave together," Kei says, and Fuse inches near. "We can leave the city, go where no one knows us. We can start a new life."

A light falls on Fuse's face, but he doesn't look at her. "We can't," he says. His voice is low. "There are things I still have to do here."

"Please," Kei says. She pulls his face into her hands.

xXx

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The move under the cover of darkness, skirting past policemen in hazmat suits and plain-clothed officers with guns. "We're reaching the outskirts of the city," Kei says. "There are hidden trails here my group used to take. We'll be safe here. I'm sure of it."

The city thins, and soon there's nothing but tall trees and the black brush underfoot. There is an abandoned playground just beyond the clearing, and just beyond that, an empty building whose doors are boarded up shut. "It's here," Kei says, and she taps on the door.

A peephole opens. "Kei?" The peephole shuts and the door swings open. "Kei!" The man grabs her and hugs her; others filter outside, cautious but happy. "We thought you were dead. But who is he?"

"He's a friend," Kei says, and she pulls Fuse in.

xXx

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There is a shabby mattress shoved up against the corner. Kei lights a gasoline lamp and shines it in the room, the thin orange light making shadows on the wall. Wordlessly, Kei guides Fuse to the mattress. They sit awkwardly at the corner's edge, the mattress sinking under their weight. Kei is tired and so is he, and when she leans her head against his shoulder, neither of them say a word. Quietly, they rearrange themselves so they're lying on the bed, Fuse's arm around Kei's waist and his face buried into her hair.

xXx

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"I was going to betray you," Fuse says. The room is cold but his body feels warm, and Kei doesn't move. "We knew. We found out what you were, and we were going to stage the whole thing."

Kei pulls his hand to her face, pulling him closer. "So we betrayed each other," Kei says. She feels Fuse nod against her hair.

"It doesn't matter," Kei says. She turns and looks up at Fuse's face. "Where do we go from here?"

"Into the woods," Fuse says.

Into the woods.

xXx

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_ii. Execution_

_.  
_

Tohbe presses the gun into Fuse's hands. "You know what you have to do."

Above them, the sky starts to lighten, and a watery light falls over Kei's face and shoulders. Fuse turns the gun over in his hand, watches as his commander and his second officer disappear into the bunker below.

Kei looks up at him with terrible eyes. "I'm glad it's going to be you," Kei says, and Fuse is wracked with sobs.

She throws herself into Fuse's arms, and he clings to her, holding her tight. "Kei," he says. The gun is in his hands. "Kei, I'm sorry."

He lifts the gun, presses it against Kei's side. His hands shake. His finger presses the trigger.

Kei startles in horror when Fuse lifts the gun and shoots himself.

xXx

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"No! Fuse!" Kei throws herself on the ground. She hoists his body up, screaming. "Fuse! Fuse!" Blood seeps into the dirt and coagulates around her hands.

Tohbe runs. There's shouting and there's screaming and a strong arm yanks her backward, pulling her off Fuse's body. "Fuse! Fuse!"

The shot rings, and she falls; they lie together on the grass, their blood mixing into the soil.

xXx

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_iii. Cigarette_

_.  
_

Tohbe watches silently as Fuse looms over the girl, his large figure almost swallowing her whole.

Of course. He's fallen in love with her, _bakka_. Tohbe exhales slowly, then flicks the cigarette to the ground. He watches as the girl leans against Fuse's side, and how Fuse snakes a protective arm around her shoulder.

She has to die. There is no other way. She has to die and Fuse has to be the one to kill her. Tohbe's eyes narrow. There is no other way to get Fuse back. Fuse is an animal, just like he is; a beast, a member of the wolves. Wolves cannot love Red Riding Hood; wolves can only kill. Tohbe rises and Fuse turns; behind him, the girl stands with Fuse's coat on her shoulders; she looks small and terrified.

xXx

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"If you won't kill her, then you have to leave," Tohbe says. Fuse's eyes widen; the girl clutches his arm. Tohbe pauses, then turns purposefully.

"Leave," Tohbe says. Fuse pulls the girl close.

"Tohbe-sama--"

"Leave!" Tohbe says. "You are no longer welcome here!"

"I'm taking her with me," Fuse says.

"Just go," Tohbe says. He watches as Fuse takes the girl's hand and get into the car, which is running and waiting for them, and drive off past the base.

Tohbe reaches into his pocket for another cigarette. Beside him, his Second-in-Command looks at him with questioning eyes. "If he killed her, he would have lost his soul," Tohbe said. He presses the cigarette to his lips and pulls out a lighter.

The firelight flickers. Tohbe puffs. His Second blinks. "Sir?"

"I have no use for men like that," Tohbe says. "Only beasts." He studies the cigarette in his hand, the flicks it away. "We'll give them a day's head start. Then we'll hunt them for the traitors they are."

"Yes sir."

The sun is rising. Tohbe takes a breath, then pockets the lighter.

xXx

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_iv. Sleep_

_.  
_

He's surrounded by wolves. Fuse runs, feet pounding on wet pavement. "No," Fuse says. He runs harder. "No. No!"

He wakes and feels a hand press against his shoulder. "Fuse?" Kei says. She pulls him close. "Another dream?"

Fuse sinks back against her, feels her small arms wrap around his waist. "Yes," Fuse says. "Another dream."

She presses her lips against the side of his neck, gently brushes back the hair from his face. "Go back to sleep," Kei says, and she kisses the corner of his eyes.

xXx

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It is as Kei had imagined it to be: no one knows who they are. They can make up their pasts, conjure false memories from thin air. To the fishermen and the washing women of the town, they are just like any other couple, newlywed and happy, trying to find a place for themselves in the world. Fuse works the docks while Kei scrubs floors on her knees, hair pulled back from her eyes with a white cloth. At night, they come home and silently watch on the news the violence and the riots in the capital. Wordlessly, Fuse will switch off the television and they will make love in the dark, holding each other and tucking the past away.

xXx

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At night, there are bombs. Even though they're hundreds of miles away, there's a ghost of an explosion, a muted red glow in the night. Fuse wraps an arm around her, and Kei closes her eyes.

It's cold now, and Kei shivers. Fuse shrugs off his coat and lays it across her shoulders. "Let's go back inside," Fuse says, and Kei nods, leaning against his side.

end.


End file.
